Thursday, September 30, 2010

I can think of two ways to make money with this

Two Russian companies have announced that they're going to build and launch and maintain a commercial space station (CSS). They also offer it as a "safe haven" in case the ISS goes kafutzy; I think that the ISS and CSS orbits would have to be sufficiently synced for that to work.



Now, they say that they'll market it for medical experiments, Earth observations, and for, euphemistically: "... some parties are interested in short-duration stays on the station for enjoyment." Oy. As well as some media events. Well.

Let's get back to that enjoyment thing. As far as anyone knows or can tell, there is no documented and/or established circumstance in which a human couple has engaged in orbital relations. Or, to put it more simply, it's very unlikely that any male-female pair has managed a weightless docking in the physical sense. And if my wordplay still doesn't capture it, what I'm basically saying is that there's a very high probability that no two spacefarers have ever had sex in space.

How much would someone be willing to pay for the first time?

Now, here's the ultimate question: if there is a couple seeking to be the first members of the 200-mile high club, would they feel inclined to publicize their achievement if they actually made it to orbit and inhabited the CSS? If a couple so inclined did indeed launch, would it be possible for the world press to ignore the likelihood that this lucky couple might be the first couple boldly going where no couple has gone before? I think not -- and I certainly think the CSS enterprise would be idiotic not to sell tickets for this opportunity.

And the next level of opportunity is, putting it bluntly: a sex tape. See the above so-called "medical experiments". Is this not the ultimate medical experiment? Doesn't the world need to know if a) it can be done, and b) how to do it? Now, Spider Robinson got deeply (if that be the right way to write it) into this issue in the novella-turned-series "Stardance" -- broaching the subject of weightless coitus rather well, with balanced intimacy and a little humor. I think it almost unimaginable how much money could be made if two well-trained and attractive astro-copulators made a video of one particular very giant shtup for mankind.

If well done, it could fund the entire U.S. space program.

Here's another treatment of this subject:
Outer space sex carries complications

This quote shows similar thought patterns to mine:

Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism ... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
Now, blending arts and sensuality, the article also has this quote:

"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. However ... I can well imagine how compelling, inspiring, and quite frankly stimulating choreographed sex in zero-G might be in the hands of a skilled and talented cinematographer with appropriate lighting and music."
Can I start selling tickets NOW?

This next article puts the price on being the first spaceborne hookup at $40 million US.

The first orbital honeymoon: the next step in space (with a tasteful yet indicative illustration)

Here's a more technical treatment of this wondrously speculative idea:

"Complicating Factors: Issues Relating to Romance and Reproduction During Space Missions". While this article goes into great detail about what could happen after conception -- which is mostly not good -- and it also gets into some of the problems that could occur in space vehicle crews if two crewmembers are suchly "involved" -- it doesn't spend much time on the mechanics or techniques involved in effecting the necessary functional coupling prior to the release of sperm near the access point for the female oviducts. If you catch my drift.

Someone else got into this act:

The mile high club goes orbital (including the aspect of "tie me up, tie me down" to make the act more feasible).

OK, well, the CSS guys really ought to think about this. If they haven't already.

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In a much more mundane sense, the CSS offers the possibility of entertainment, literally a star dance (or dances). There's been too much science in space; having a CSS would allow for the arts. I thought that when Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte went into orbit there might be some of that, but I don't think there was.

But, if "Dancing with the Stars" can draw such a big audience, what about "Dancing IN the Stars"? My mind swims with the idea of Julianne Hough demonstrating her supple grace in weightlessness. But in reality, someone like Nastia Lyukin might be more suited (the picture below illustrates why).

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