I can think of two ways to make money with this

Two Russian companies have announced that they're going to build and launch and maintain a commercial space station (CSS). They also offer it as a "safe haven" in case the ISS goes kafutzy; I think that the ISS and CSS orbits would have to be sufficiently synced for that to work.



Now, they say that they'll market it for medical experiments, Earth observations, and for, euphemistically: "... some parties are interested in short-duration stays on the station for enjoyment." Oy. As well as some media events. Well.

Let's get back to that enjoyment thing. As far as anyone knows or can tell, there is no documented and/or established circumstance in which a human couple has engaged in orbital relations. Or, to put it more simply, it's very unlikely that any male-female pair has managed a weightless docking in the physical sense. And if my wordplay still doesn't capture it, what I'm basically saying is that there's a very high probability that no two spacefarers have ever had sex in space.

How much would someone be willing to pay for the first time?

Now, here's the ultimate question: if there is a couple seeking to be the first members of the 200-mile high club, would they feel inclined to publicize their achievement if they actually made it to orbit and inhabited the CSS? If a couple so inclined did indeed launch, would it be possible for the world press to ignore the likelihood that this lucky couple might be the first couple boldly going where no couple has gone before? I think not -- and I certainly think the CSS enterprise would be idiotic not to sell tickets for this opportunity.

And the next level of opportunity is, putting it bluntly: a sex tape. See the above so-called "medical experiments". Is this not the ultimate medical experiment? Doesn't the world need to know if a) it can be done, and b) how to do it? Now, Spider Robinson got deeply (if that be the right way to write it) into this issue in the novella-turned-series "Stardance" -- broaching the subject of weightless coitus rather well, with balanced intimacy and a little humor. I think it almost unimaginable how much money could be made if two well-trained and attractive astro-copulators made a video of one particular very giant shtup for mankind.

If well done, it could fund the entire U.S. space program.

Here's another treatment of this subject:
Outer space sex carries complications

This quote shows similar thought patterns to mine:

Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism ... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."

Now, blending arts and sensuality, the article also has this quote:

"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. However ... I can well imagine how compelling, inspiring, and quite frankly stimulating choreographed sex in zero-G might be in the hands of a skilled and talented cinematographer with appropriate lighting and music."

Can I start selling tickets NOW?

This next article puts the price on being the first spaceborne hookup at $40 million US.

The first orbital honeymoon: the next step in space (with a tasteful yet indicative illustration)

Here's a more technical treatment of this wondrously speculative idea:

"Complicating Factors: Issues Relating to Romance and Reproduction During Space Missions". While this article goes into great detail about what could happen after conception -- which is mostly not good -- and it also gets into some of the problems that could occur in space vehicle crews if two crewmembers are suchly "involved" -- it doesn't spend much time on the mechanics or techniques involved in effecting the necessary functional coupling prior to the release of sperm near the access point for the female oviducts. If you catch my drift.

Someone else got into this act:

The mile high club goes orbital (including the aspect of "tie me up, tie me down" to make the act more feasible).

OK, well, the CSS guys really ought to think about this. If they haven't already.

------------
In a much more mundane sense, the CSS offers the possibility of entertainment, literally a star dance (or dances). There's been too much science in space; having a CSS would allow for the arts. I thought that when Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte went into orbit there might be some of that, but I don't think there was.

But, if "Dancing with the Stars" can draw such a big audience, what about "Dancing IN the Stars"? My mind swims with the idea of Julianne Hough demonstrating her supple grace in weightlessness. But in reality, someone like Nastia Lyukin might be more suited (the picture below illustrates why).

Call for volunteers!

 

Well, this is a subject I've been following closely for years.  Man may not step foot in Mars in my lifetime (thought I still strongly hope that somehow I'm around when that happens), but I'm fairly certain that this achievement will be achieved before this decade is out.

(Echo ... echo ... echo ...)

NASA admits it may be time to study sex in space as experts claim it's 'crucial' for long-haul missions to the Moon and Mars

Now, I've said this before:

"While people going to space for long-durations are currently professional astronauts, in the future it is likely ever more civilians, including couples, will venture into orbit.

Some of these will want to join the 62-mile-high club, especially if proposals for future space hotels come to fruition."

I'm going to have to read this proposal (published in the Journal of Sex Research, naturally.)  The link goes to the abstract;  I'm not sure if it's illustrated, and I'm not a subscriber -- I know, amazing, right?

"While there have been some minor studies on the ISS looking at sex among animals, there has been no detailed look at how humans might copulate in orbit, and it goes beyond that, there has been an active attempt to avoid the subject. 

 he team say that is changing though, with researcher and major space players starting to look at the subject, especially new private industry players. 

 Maria Santaguida, proposal for 'space sex study' co-author, said change is happening, and opening avenues for a proposal to study sex in space."

Despite all the potential dangers (really?), a weightless Kate Upton makes it seem that it certainly is worth taking the moon shot.

 

I mean, really -- all we need is a little Velcro in the right places.

It's been awhile: an article about sex in space

 

I haven't seen an article about sex in space for awhile, and I usually note it here when I do.  So I had to get this Daily Mail article up and mentioned just about as soon as I could. 

Sex in space 'dolphin-style' is the new frontier as scientists call for snuggies, straddling and Velcro

"More than 675 people have traveled to space, but according to NASA, none of them have had sex in the final frontier.

Experts believe this will soon change as more civilians pay commercial spaceflight companies, such as Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin and Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic, to venture into space—albeit for a hefty price."

Frankly, I'm somewhat surprised that Bezos himself hasn't booked a honeymoon launch to be a pioneer on the high frontier.

Of course, James Bond reportedly already achieved docking a few movies ago. Without Velcro.

 

But the geckos are fine

 It's remarkable with all of the MAJOR problems in the world -- airliners getting shot out of the sky by Russian-backed  revolutionaries, Israel blasting away at Hamas on the Gaza strip (and Hamas trying to shoot ineffectually back), the worst outbreak ever of the scary Ebola virus in Africa, thousands of Central American kids invading the United States and frightening the beejeezus out of conservative Republicans, and the warmest May and June ever in temperature recorded history ...

that one of the major news concerns this last week was about four geckos sent into space to have sex.

The problem was that the controllers of the experiment (and they say that OUR space program wastes money!) lost contact with the satellite, and it was feared that the gecko sex test and the other experiments were gone.  But happily, contact was re-made, and though the satellite was in the wrong orbit, most of the goals of the mission are likely to be accomplished.  And the satellite should also be able to return safely to Earth.

So, ultimately, the geckos will get to do what humans have yet to do -- which is, mate, with the proper species in space.

Well, I have speculated previously on when sex in space would take place.  At least for geckokind, it apparently has.

And the geckos will survive.

The space sex geckos are OK - Russia regains control of satellite with important biology experiment onboard

If not before then, then here

If you wish, you can go back in the history of my voluminous posting here and find several posts about the subject of sex in space.  I have speculated several times regarding when this great leap forward will "officially" be consummated.  My speculation includes the idea that there is some rich guy out there somewhere who wants to put his name in the record books in a way that even Neil Armstrong wouldn't be able to contend with.

One aspect of this idea is that there has to be a place in space where "it" could be accomplished.  In the next couple of years, there will be suborbital flights into space with passengers, and if one of them is a couples' ticket, then the first time could be a several miles high quickie.   And there are also missions on the board, including a moon shot -- yes, moon shot -- that are actually space orbit missions where private citizens in space can do what they want to do if the spirit moves them and they can deal with weightlessness.

But ... none of that is a sure thing.  This, apparently, is.

Inside NASA's private 'space home': Padded walls and 'the largest window ever constructed for space' to feature in 'holiday unit' to accommodate the first commercial tourists visiting the ISS

Initially it will be module attached to the International Space Station.  Eventually, it can be a free flier.

Exterior (it's the brown and white module in front):

Interior:

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that when this ultimate room-with-a-view is operational, that some very fortunate and fairly wealth bride and groom is going to book it for the honeymoon cruise into history.

Agreed?

Sex in space IS going to happen

 

Recently reported in the science and technical news is the important information that Hilton Hotels will be designing astronaut hotel suites for inflatable space habitats.

One of them will have to be honeymoon suite.  At least if I was in charge of the project, it would be.

Hilton hotels will design astronaut suites on private Starlab space station

"Going forward, Hilton and Voyager plan to work together on the architecture and design of Starlab. The private space station will include hospitality suites, sleeping arrangements, and communal areas for visiting astronauts. Further in the future, the two teams plan to create a "ground-to-space astronaut experience," along with branding opportunities and efforts in tourism, education and commercial realms."

I couldn't find a realistic image of a space hotel suite.  This is what accommodations look like on the International Space Station.  Not exactly romantic.  I'll do more research. 

 

Orgasm in a country-western song

I was touring the dial while traveling the state the other day, and I did what I occasionally do; I listened to a country-western station for a couple of hours. I somewhat like country-western music, primarily when there's a deft turn of phrase or play on words, and some ballads can pack some emotional strength, too.

So... while I was listening, I heard the song "Firecracker" by Josh Turner (released about three years ago). It immediately struck me -- it was rather obvious -- that this song was one of the more explicit CW songs about sex. Metaphor or not, it's pretty clear. In particular, two lines are a fairly concise description of female orgasm (and a nice way to say it, too).

Now, the video is pretty tame; nice-looking girl, guy, fireworks store, band outside the store. According to brief searching, his wife is in the band (on keyboards). Fortunately she's also blonde; see below.

Firecracker video

So anyway, here's the specific lyrics about the climactic subject, and a link to the video. There have been other CW songs that touch upon this touchy subject, but not being an aficionado, I couldn't name any. ("A Whole Lotta Shaking Going On" seems to be in that vein.) Clearly, a whole lot of CW songs are about the consequences of sex, particularly the cheatin' kind. So it's nice to have at least one CW song about good sex in a committed relationship, isn't it?

She goes off with a great big bang

Boys I tell ya it's a beautiful thing

She takes off you better hang on tight



She's a blonde bottle rocket in the middle of the night


Turner is a sufficiently adept vocalist as to make "bang" and "thing" almost sound like they rhyme. I'm surprised he's not a bigger star, but maybe he's a bigger star than I think he is, because I'm not paying sufficient attention. His fans seem to adore him (but fans always do, don't they?)

By the way, what do you think the lyrics are alluding to here?

When I light the fuse, I gotta get back quick



You gotta be careful with a dynamite stick

Naahh, couldn't be...

-----
Julianne Hough has a new CW single out too; after a little searching on YouTube, I found both the single release and a recording of her singing it live for a radio program, it appears. There's a considerable difference. She's an adequate singer, with a decent upper and lower register, but in the middle she lacks power and sounds a little girlish (more noticeable in the live performance than the single). She does project some emotion and longing fairly well in this song, which is about... well, wanting to feel someone with you when you're, ahem, lonely. One of the lines in the song makes that fairly clear.

"Is That So Wrong" Single on YouTube

Live performance

Here's some of the lyrics:

Baby, close your lips, only a kiss, only a kiss don’t say a word
You can let it go, loose control, and I promise it wont hurt
I just want to get lost, wanna get lost in your arms
So throw on the floor, I just can’t wait anymore

Doesn’t everybody just want to feel somebody
Just want to hold someone to fill that empty space
When your missing that rush and a friends not enough
I just can’t deal
No tonight I just don’t wanna be alone, tell me, is that wrong?

Wanting to fill that empty space...? I'm sure there'll be takers, Julia (even if you're still waiting for marriage...)
-----
As an aside, one of the clearest references to the act itself is in the theme from the James Bond film "Octopussy" (not that this should be a surprise). The song, "All Time High", sung by Rita Coolidge, has this lyrical aspect at the beginning:

All I wanted was a sweet distraction for an hour or two.
Had no intention to do the things we've done.
Funny how it always goes with love, when you don't look, you find.
But then we're two of a kind, we move as one.

And this fairly direct wording:

I don't want to waste a waking moment; I don't want to sleep.
I'm in so strong and so deep, and so are you.


-----
I did find one item on the Web with other country songs about sex:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081005161756AAQI78I


(Note: I'm aware that a lot of urban music is absolutely, totally, unexpurgatedly about sex. I prefer some poetical aspects to the music.)

If it's going to happen, it's going to happen here

In case you thought you'd heard of everything, I have to ask if you heard about the new luxury hotel that Russia is planning to build.

In space.

According to the article I've linked below, the Russians are planning to build an add-on module for the International Space Station, that is going to be a luxury hotel.

Russia's plan to build a luxury hotel on the ISS

"UNDERNEATH" the ISS in the picture above is the NEM-1 Science and Power Module, at left.  At right, looking a lot like the NEM-1, is the new hotel module.

I just love this idea.  The problem is, the timetable is kinda tight. The end of the article states:

"Currently, the launch of the NEM-1 module is planned for 2021. In the meantime, the retirement of the ISS is looming in 2028.

RKK Energia estimates that it would take at least five years to build the tourist module, which means that if the work began right away, it would make it to the station in 2022 or later. Hence, the project might not have those seven years required to pay off the investments. Also the project will be vulnerable to currency exchange fluctuations and cost overruns, the authors of the study said."

Now, in case you haven't been reading my other blog posts on the particular subject about which I am going to speculate right now, for years I have been contemplating the question of what human couple is going to accomplish the first human coupling in the environment of outer space.  To state it more succinctly, who is going to be the first man and woman to have sex in Earth orbit?  Now, I don't know who it's going to be, but I will tell you right now, if this Russian ISS hotel actually gets off the ground and attached to the ISS, that's where it will occur.  GUARANTEED.  It's too "juicy" an opportunity to pass up.

If you want to read other of my posts on this subject, just use the words "sex" and "space" in the search box.  Or click right here.  (There are a couple of other post not on that subject included, but you'll get several of my previous musings on the topic.)

And with that, I conclude the 2017 blogging year.  See you in 2018, and look for my predictions!

Just helping everyone stay informed and happy

These two links caught my fancy as they passed by on Twitter, so I grabbed them to provide to my legions of readers and the rest of the world public in a somewhat more stable medium of communication.

51 Sultry Facts About Sex

#7 is about one of my favorite topics to speculate on:

A far-out thought: Could you have sex in zero-gravity? Well, the idea has yet to be tested as far as anyone knows, though if the human race were to colonize another orb it'd be key, albeit, tricky. "Sex is very difficult in zero gravity, apparently, because you have no traction and you keep bumping against the walls," biologist Athena Andreadis of the University of Massachusetts Medical School told SPACE.com, a sister site to LiveScience. "Think about it: you have no friction, you have no resistance."

 How long do we have to wait for the SPACE HOTELS?

 And I also took an interest in this one:

8 Secret Things a Man Wants in Bed

I'm definitely a fan of number 6 -- not really for number 8, but if my gal wants to leave me a rose, I'll be glad to kiss her petals.

There's a lot more, of course, but some things are just better read yourselves.

Is this really going to happen?

Apparently the reality of space tourism is a little bit closer to a starting date.

If tourists in space become routine, will sex in space be far behind?  After all, a daring couple would only have to book a flight in the six-seater capsule for two.  I can believe there are a significant number of multi-millionaires willing to take that one small schtup for mankind, given how the bidding goes when a comely young lady puts her virginity up for auction to pay for college.

But that's a way in the future, but maybe not quite so far away as yesterday.

Here's the article that inspired my incredulity, about a successful launch and test of the Blue Origin.  I spelled that right, I think.

A holiday in space? Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin successfully test flies its 6-seater capsule that could take tourists into orbit next year using its reusable rocket

The test dummy in the capsule was nicknamed 'Mannequin Skywalker'.  Cute.

Oceanography in space

 

Well, I've been very interested in sex in space, but this is about oceanography in space.  And there are very likely oceans out there.

Oceanography:  Special Issue about Oceans Across the Solar System

This shouldn't be a surprise, right?

Girl we couldn't get much higher

Here's a fairly long article about a subject that I've discussed before on my blog.

Let's talk about sex in space

A small quote:

"Astronauts tend to sweat more in space, and decreased blood pressure could make it more difficult for males to hold up their end of the mission. As for the female side of things, the jury is still out on whether microgravity is a bane or a boon to boobs."

I think there's some missing areas, too, because the don't talk at all about the possibility of the launch of a commercial space station, which I wrote about here.

Eventually the time will come.

So will the astronauts, if they do it right.

What can you do in 15 minutes?

I'm sure that there's a lot of things that can be done in 15 minutes.  Buying auto insurance, for example.  Grilling a burger (not necessarily eating it too, but I'm sure it's possible).  Reading about 200 tweets on Twitter, as long as you don't read a lot of linked articles.

Having sex, if you don't count foreplay or keep the preliminaries short.

And another thing that people may be able to do, for about 15 minutes, is be in space, above most of Earth's atmosphere.  There are several companies now that plan to make this possible -- here's an article about Blue Origin, a company led by Amazon's Jeff Bezos, that's going to have a space capsule with big windows.

'The largest windows in space': Inside Blue Origin's New Shepard flight capsule that will take tourists to into orbit next year

You could get married up there... and, well, you know...

The thing is... there aren't any neighbors up there to LOOK in the windows.

So if some pioneering couple wants to be the first-ever members of the Highest-Ever club, they could pay for an exclusive two-seat ride.  And ignore the view.

High price to pay for history?   Depends on how much you want to be historical.  And hey, you could look out the windows while engaged in the history-making act. People do it in their private beach rooms all the time.

This explains a lot of things

A lot of men must learn this lesson.  Some men don't.   Figure out where each path leads.

Why women are happier if they have the last word... but agreeing with everything their wives say only makes husbands miserable

"For the study, published in the British Medical Journal, a group of husbands had to agree with every opinion and request expressed by their wives without complaint, even if they thought they were wrong.

The researchers, from the University of Auckland in New Zealand, found that the men’s quality of life dipped from seven out of ten to three out of ten in only 12 days. 

In fact, the impact was so ‘severe’ the study had to be abandoned. And despite the power they wielded, the women’s happiness increased only slightly, from eight to 8.5. 

The study said: ‘It seems that being right is a cause of happiness, and agreeing with what one disagrees with is a cause of unhappiness."

So, if you are a husband and you argue (justifiably, when you know what you're talking about) with your wife, you feel happier but you have more conflict in your marriage and your wife might get fed up enough to leave you.  If you don't argue with her and try to agree with all of her ideas and opinions, nutty as they might be, then you end up wanting to leave her. Unless of course she's 20 years younger than you, wants to have sex every night, and looks like Brooklyn Decker.  Then you agree with anything she thinks, even if it means agreeing that natural stone or metal  objects from space are still meteors even after they land on Earth.  I mean, seriously...

So the key is... argue just enough with your wife to salvage your pride.  And then give it up.  That's what happy men have learned to do.

Is this the best thing Kelly Brook has ever done?

Kelly Brook, recently broken up with the one of the dumbest blokes on the planet, Danny Cipriani, provides several excellent reasons to have sex in space.

Remembering that this is a commercial, the gravitational dynamics are pretty weird.  Kelly is walking as if in gravity, but things go weightless at random around here.   OK, fine, artistic freedom.

I keep wondering how I even noticed the gravity anomalies will I was watching Kelly.





Oh, and the following picture was in the Daily Mail article that provided this video.  I also noticed Kelly had curlers in her hair, but I actually don't know how I managed to do that, either.

A floral sonnet for spring

I was recently asked if I write sonnets about subjects other than love and romance and sex and erotica.

Well, certainly, I like to write sonnets about anything.

So, in honor of spring:


forsythia

A common shrub -- this bush -- most times is quite
forgettable, a bunch of sticks with leaves,
possessing nothing to commend its sight
or causes us to believe that it deceives
by hiding underlying wondrousness.
And so it has been used to mark a line
between two lands, or fill some space, or dress
a fence with greenery -- we could malign
its role if not for what it does in spring.
For then, before the heat of summer takes
control, the vernal equinox will bring
its petals forth, so lemon-bright it makes
a goldfinch pale! For days it glorifies
the hedge, until it fades into disguise.