Thursday, June 4, 2009

A message for Tony Parker

Dear Mr. Parker:

You are a skilled athlete. You are paid millions of dollars to play basketball, which is a fun game to play, and you get PAID for it. And you do it very well.

Every night if I had your skills, I would thank God (or my lucky stars, or divine Providence, or just the luck of the life lottery) that I had these skills to play this game and make millions of dollars, and even win the championship of the NBA with my team.

But there's more.

Not only are you a skilled athlete, and apparently a nice man with exemplary tastes and a wide range of interests (I guess because you are a French man it's easier for you to do that than us roughnecks) -- well, on top of all that, you are married to a divinely gorgeous woman, who also happens to be a fine actress, Eva Longoria. This level of fortuity goes beyond reasonable, sir: so you'd better not forget how lucky you are.

Case in point: Eva Longoria makes a splash in St Tropez as she continues her epic European holiday

Particularly: Lusciously speaking

and

Now that's a privileged view

So, Mr. (or is it Monsieur?) Parker -- if I EVER hear about a confirmed case of your forsaking your vows of fidelity in favor of a 20-years-old or so bimbette cheerleader, I will indignantly and immediately send you a strongly worded letter basically and prosaically inquiring: What the h*ll were you thinking?

Now, of course, you might end up having one of those unfortunate undefined "irreconcilable differences" bust-ups; but I personally would have to have a lot irreconcilable to bust up with her. I.e., I'd be reconciling just about everything I could reconcile, if possible. I hope you don't. But please: not for a cheerleader. I mean, for goshsakes, you're married to Eva Longoria.

Empathically,
Oakden

No comments: