Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Undangerous 2013 predictions

Last year I did pretty good with my not-too-much-of-a-stretch predictions (revisited mid-year here).  I was getting worried at the end but Andy Murray and President Obama came through for me.   So here on the first day of 2012 are my "undangerous" predictions for 2013, with short comments.

One surprise I didn't realize until I looked back at them - while I predicted (hopefully) that Khloe Kardashian would get pregnant, I mentioned that Kanye West appeared to be in a baby-making mood with new girl (at the time) Kim.   Well, surprise surprise, she turned out to be the one preggers at year end.



Well, here are my predictions for 2013.   Actually, these are considerably riskier than last year.  I expect I'll be lucky to get five of them right.

1. Caroline Wozniacki wins a tennis Grand Slam
-- I think it's her time, if Serena falters.  Hard to tell with Sharapova.  Kvitova and Vuvuzela (er, Azarenka) are tough.  Woz is down to #10 in the rankings, so this one might be risky.

2. McCauliffe elected governor in Virginia

-- If hard-line, pugnacious, take-no-prisoners Cooch the Gooch Cuccinelli gets elected, God Help Us All.

3. Arctic sea ice doesn't set new minimum record;  skeptics publicize this everywhere
-- After all, you can't have a minimum every year, unless global warming is  accelerating and the positive feedbacks are dominating.  Wait a minute...

4. Jennifer Aniston has a baby
-- I think, just to get the paparazzi off her back, she'll either get pregnant or adopt. I'm leaning toward the Katherine Heigl strategy - keep your gorgeous looks and  adopt.  However, Justin Theroux might prefer the natural method, because that would keep Jennifer on her back a lot.

5. Mitch McConnell has a heart attack and dies (only wishing here - skip that one)

5. The GOP House fights another pitched battle over raising the debt ceiling, and only capitulates when China threatens to cause us economic harm because our pending recession is hurting their economy.
-- Only makes sense, the Chinese will only put up with this nonsense for so long.

6. The U.S. Men's Soccer team fails to qualify for the 2014 FIFA World Cup.
-- They don't have any real scoring stars to take them there.   I think they will be shocked by two losses to Jamaica. Sorry, Jurgen.

7. Playboy will make an inspired choice for Playmate - Audrey Nicole (@msaudreynicole).
-- I have to toss one in here that I just basically want to happen; I'm not sure how likely it is but she's amazingly gorgeous.

8. Due to the nation's budget problems, several large national parks will close for at least a few days during the summer vacation season, to demonstrate how bad the situation is.
-- This would be a smart way to sway public opinion.

9. Joe Lieberman gets a position in the Obama administration.
-- Maybe head of the CIA.

10. A major satellite collision in space emphasizes the space debris problem.
-- The odds of this keep increasing every year!

So, there you have it.  Any comments? (I'd be stunned)





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