Leo - back to Brazil, or not?

Leonardo DiCaprio may or may not be newly dating a 24-year old Brazilian model.  Hearken back to the fact that he dated, for a few years, ultramodel Gisele Bundchen, also from Brazil.  So this makes perfect sense for someone who has a catalog of lingerie models to look through when he needs a partner for dinner, or something more after dinner.

Lucky guy.

Here's the article.

Model Kat Torres, 24, confirms she's dating DiCaprio as she opens up about pair's romance

This got picked up by other outlets, but there are also denials from the DiCaprio camp that they are actually dating.   So it's not clear or not if they are.  Nonetheless, even a hint of another DiCaprio model-girlfriend is worthy of checking out if she's worthy of Leo.  And it would appear that she fits his criteria quite well.

She fits into her lingerie quite well, too.

Republicans want to secede? This would solve ALL our problems

A short time ago I read a Washington Post article about the western part of Maryland wanting to secede from the rest of the state and become a new state because western Maryland is predominantly Republican and conservative, and the rest of the state is predominantly Democratic and godlessly liberal, thank God.  (The article got picked up by the HuffingtonPost via Reuters - read it here).   Apparently this is somewhat of a trend around the country, at least in certain places.  Pat Buchanan wrote about it recently on TownHall, too, quoted below:

"Like the western Maryland and northern Colorado counties, the northern California counties are conservative, small town, rural, and have little in common with San Francisco or Los Angeles, or Sacramento, where Republicans hold not one statewide office and are outnumbered better than 2-1 in both houses of the state legislature.

Folks on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, bordered by Wisconsin and the Great Lakes, which is connected to lower Michigan by a bridge, have long dreamed of a separate state called Superior. The UP has little in common with Lansing and nothing with Detroit."

There is only considered a small likelihood that any of these initiatives would succeed in seceding (ha ha ha). But there is apparently discontent around the country where conservatives are living in predominantly liberal Democratic states.  The other situation is less noticeable, because the liberal Dems in predominantly Republican states already tend to cluster in single-party enclaves that are also known as cities.

But there is a simple solution to all of this.  Let the discontent Republican conservatives have their own state, and let the government facilitate their movement to that state.  That would reduce the problem of gerrymandering in a lot of states - because there would be a lot fewer Republicans to gerrymander around - and also give the Republicans a state to run they way they like, living with like-minded people who also want to live in a state run the way they like.

But where to move them all to?  Where?  Where indeed?

I nominate Brownbackistan, formerly known as Kansas.  Governor Sam Brownback is already endeavouring to make Kansas the great Prairie Conservative Paradise.  There's lots and lots of room, plenty of small rural communities that could be a little bigger, the small towns and small town values that conservatives pine and opine for.   Kansas is famous for pushing creationism and prayer in schools, banning books, farming corn and wheat, cutting taxes, cutting taxes even more, cutting taxes so much that even Republicans are complaining, cutting godless art programs, godless educational programs, banning abortions,  limiting contraception, and building more churches.  (I'm not sure about that last part, but if more Christian right-wing conservatives move to Kansas, then it ought to be).  Furthermore, many of these discontenteds are already living in small, poor, rural communities - if they move to the same type of locale in Kansas, they'll feel right at home.

Here's Brownback's Road Map for Kansas (a PDF document).

Here's a partial assessment of how it's actually working thus far.   Doesn't appear to be working so good, so clearly they need more people to increase the tax base.  Oh wait, he eliminated the state income tax.  Never mind.  (Here's another commentary on how it's working, or not.)

I think it's fairly obvious that Brownback needs a lot more like-minded Kansans to live in Kansas, and apparently there are lot of people around the country not happy to be living where they are living now, because of the political bent of their own particular state.  So I propose that the Federal government provide low cost loans to allow anyone who wants to, for reasons of personal or political conscience, to move to Kansas. This helps the rest of the country, the states where these people don't like to be living, and Kansas, which is needing some help.

Hell, if they still want to secede, let them be their own country.  They're completely surrounded by the rest of the United States and they clearly can't have their own Navy.

I think this is an ideal situation for just about EVERYBODY.  When this whole shutdown and debt ceiling situation is done with, I'm going to call my Congresspeople and suggest it.  They're Democrats - they ought LIKE it.

"Day of the Jackal" plan to make Ted Cruz President without an election

As the government shutdown winds on and as global economic catastrophe looms, I keep thinking that the Tea Party supporters with deep pockets might have something more nefarious up their sleeves.

Now, mind you, this scenario is the partially the product of watching many political thrillers over the years, from "No Way Out" to "In the Line of Fire" to "Homeland" and of course the titular "Day of the Jackal".   In no way could I plan this.  In no way could I do this.  I can't fire a rifle;  I don't own a rifle.  Furthermore, FBI, if you're reading this, I'm a freakin' liberal.  Read a lot of my political posts (you can skip the ones about the girls).  There's no way that I'd want this to happen.

But some people might.  And mind you, this is even far-fetched politically.  But it's not impossible.  And if one or two unlikely pieces fell into place, it might suddenly become an attractive idea to somebody. Somebody with an ax to grind from the far, far, far right, who DOES own a rifle and who DOES have deep pockets.

So here's the scenario.

1.  After the shutdown and the debt ceiling fight end, the latter perhaps with a capitulation by John Boehner to let Democrats and moderate Republicans vote together to avert global economic catastrophe, a Tea Party-led revolt against His Speakership ensues.

2. The Tea Party gains the ascendancy, and in a history-making move, they elect Texas Senator Ted Cruz Speaker of the House.  It's never been done before, to have a non-member of the House be Speaker, but there's nothing in the bylaws that says this can't happen.  Besides, Cruz is persona non grata in the Senate right now - his colleagues would be glad to see him go.

3.  Realize now that the Speaker of the House is third in line for the Presidency.  That only leaves Barack Obama and Joe Biden standing in the way of President Cruz.  The Koch Brothers, who were mentioned as having bankrolled the Obamacare stand (though apparently they didn't) and the election or candidacies of many Tea Party candidates in 2012 (which they did), perceive a better way to invest their megabucks than backing insane crazies who can't get elected.  To whit, they decide to hire a couple of top-notch assassins to take out the POTUS and VPOTUS essentially simultaneously, and give them sufficient funds for all the high tech stuff they might need.  Need a ride?  We've got a private jet.

4.  These shouldn't be too hard to find;  there's still a lot of ticked-off Al Qaeda members out there who still are a wee bit upset with the U.S. for Zero Dark Thirtying Osama bin Laden.  Plus, you don't have to hire someone who will want to get away;  a la Brody in 'Homeland', a suicide bomber will do just fine.  The money can go to the deceased suicide bomber's family and his local community.

5.  What does have to happen is that it has to be done fast, or Biden will appoint a VP in a jiffy if Barack gets it first, and vice versa (ha) if the VP is done first  - either of them realizing that Cruz is waiting in the wings if the VP office is empty. Still, I think Congress has to approve the new VP, so that could get held up until the other assassination is completed.  Holding things up in Congress is apparently not very hard to do!

6.  And then, sans election, Ted Cruz is President of the United States.  Cruz then appoints Texas Governo Rick Perry as his Vice-President.

It's easy, right?

Think I'm crazy?  Well, maybe not so much after reading this in the Huffington Post today:

The Far-Right Christian Movement Driving the Debt Default

"That is what makes the debt ceiling debate so chilling. The Reconstructionists have waited a long time to be in powerful positions. And now that they possess power, they are perfectly willing to use it to "reduce the power of the state" so that the God of the Old Testament can swoop in to rule the Christian nation they believe will result from chaos."

Giada shows us the goods (almost)

Back in March, I stated my true and unfettered opinion that it would be great (if however extremely unlikely) to see the results of Food Network Italian specialist chef Giada de Laurentiis posing for high-class nude photographs.  I noted then, as I do again now, that this just won't happen, and I know that, but I can't help wishing that it would.

At the time, I posted a couple of fairly sexy shots of Giada, not knowing if anything more enticing would ever appear.  But only a few months later, it did, when Giada wore a truly remarkable dress that provided truly remarkable views of her most delectable decolletage to the Daytime Emmy Awards.

This outfit shows why it would be great if she deigned to show the entire wealth of her bodily assets.  And I can't help but thinking that the 'private' family photo folder at the de Laurentiis household must have some great shots, too.  Her husband would be crazy not to have captured both her anterior and posterior for posterity, if only theirs.

Dear God, how bad is it to pray for a wardrobe malfunction?  Just one?

Julie Efimova, Yuliya Yefimova, whatever, she's fast and cute

Not long ago in the 2013 World Swimming Championships, Russian woman breaststroke specialist Yulia Yefimova (the Westernized version of her name is Julia Efimova) beat out the challenge of 16-year-old Lithuanian wunderkind Ruta Meilutyte and won the 50 meter breaststroke with a world record, in which she won the gold, and she also won the 200 meter breaststroke, which is impressive considering the differences between flat-out sprinting and distance breaststroke.  

It should be pointed out that Yefimova is Chechnyan, remarkable in itself considering the recent political difficulties in that enclave.

By the way, Meilutyte just set a short-course world record in the 100 meter breaststroke at the FINA World Cup in Moscow.

I happened to be watching the FINA World Cup in Moscow, mentioned above, and saw Yefimova win the 200 meter breaststroke with a new Russian record, after an unfortunate DQ in the 50.  After it was over, I also noticed that she's somewhat cute.  So I did some research on that.  Below are the results of my research.

In her swimsuit:

She can also do this :  (whoever said that world-class athletes are just like the rest of us was wrong)

And in a glamor shot, dry and on land:






Like I said, fast and cute.  (She's only 21, too.)

Mid-October sonnet

Note:  in this sonnet, the word 'enlinked' in line 8 should be pronounced with three syllables, 'EN-link-ED'.  This one also has a non-standard rhyming scheme.

"Upon a marriage bed"

I wonder, could it ever be that way -
remarkable, fulfilling, sharing, true -
exceptional and fundamental, play
enmixed with pleasure, basic to pursue
the pleasures of their partner, first as each
explores and touches, deeper, stronger, hard 
and soft and smooth and straight, the key and breach
that form a whole, enlinked to the starred
infinity for moments as they reach
a summit of their own, yet shared in gard-
ens of fertility, made known by moan
and gasp and quake and final flow, and shown
to be appreciated and adored?
I wish it could, to have my joys restored.

New adjective rules for the political press

I think that there should be a few rules for using adjectives in political stories about the debt ceiling and government shutdown:

1.  In all future articles, the plural term "Republicans" should be preceded with the words "stupid f*cking".

2.  All references to the current Speaker of the House John Boehner should be preceded with the words "simpering appeasing spineless a**hole".

3. All references to Tea Party members should be preceded with the words "insane brainded redneck idiot".

4.  All references to "GOP" should be preceded by "God save us from the". 

Let's see how this works:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/10/11/us-usa-fiscal-idUSBRE98N11220131011

"The plummeting standing of congressional Republicans in public opinion polls helped spur a move toward ending the standoff, Oklahoma Republican Representative James Lankford said on CNN Thursday night. The latest, an NBC-Wall Street Journal survey published on Thursday, showed the public blaming Republicans by a 22-point margin - 53 to 31 percent."

becomes

The plummeting standing of congressional stupid f*cking Republicans in public opinion polls helped spur a move toward ending the standoff, Oklahoma stupid f*cking Republican Representative James Lankford said on CNN Thursday night. The latest, an NBC-Wall Street Journal survey published on Thursday, showed the public blaming stupid f*cking Republicans by a 22-point margin - 53 to 31 percent.

-----
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/eugene-robinson-boehner-improves-his-standing-within-the-gop/2013/10/10/d698ac30-31de-11e3-9c68-1cf643210300_story.html

"Boehner may have calculated that Obama would negotiate — if not over Obamacare, then about spending and entitlements. The president’s uncompromising stance against hostage-taking meant Boehner had to follow through on the threat of a government shutdown — and meant that the GOP would shoulder most of the blame for an episode of dysfunction. It also meant, however, that Boehner would get to stand before the cameras every day and show his defiance of Obama, which makes House Republicans swoon."

becomes

Simpering appeasing spineless a**hole Boehner may have calculated that Obama would negotiate — if not over Obamacare, then about spending and entitlements. The president’s uncompromising stance against hostage-taking meant simpering appeasing spineless a**hole Boehner had to follow through on the threat of a government shutdown — and meant that the God save us from the GOP would shoulder most of the blame for an episode of dysfunction. It also meant, however, that simpering appeasing spineless a**hole Boehner would get to stand before the cameras every day and show his defiance of Obama, which makes House stupid f*cking Republicans swoon.

-----
 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marcus-landsberg/the-tea-party-has-already_b_4065995.html

"If the goal is to have minimal government, what do we have now? What would be a better victory for the tea party, then what exists right now with the shutdown?

It's not that we have no government right now. We have limited government. All military is getting paid. Our military support personnel is now getting paid. Anyone designated essential personnel is getting paid.

Isn't that what Republicans have been pushing for since the election? Any government branch which is not strictly essential should not exist.

This is not a negotiation. Why should they come to the table, they've won!

What government department does the Tea Party want to be funded that is not currently being funded right now during the shutdown? I can't think of one."

becomes

"If the goal is to have minimal government, what do we have now? What would be a better victory for the insane brainded redneck idiot tea party, then what exists right now with the shutdown? 

It's not that we have no government right now. We have limited government. All military is getting paid. Our military support personnel is now getting paid. Anyone designated essential personnel is getting paid.

Isn't that what stupid f*cking Republicans have been pushing for since the election? Any government branch which is not strictly essential should not exist. 

This is not a negotiation. Why should they come to the table, they've won!

What government department does the insane brainded redneck idiot Tea Party want to be funded that is not currently being funded right now during the shutdown? I can't think of one."

See?  That's much clearer. If you practice this just a few times, it becomes natural and easy.