Weights, Measures, and Esoterica: Miranda Kerr's sexiest picture

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Miranda Kerr's sexiest picture

There is no shortage of beautiful pictures of Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr (she's also the wife of the extraordinarily fortunate Orlando Bloom).   Why, just last week, there were these casual shots of Miranda in a white bikini with her baby, which seems utterly impossible from looking at her bounce-back fit figure:

Miranda Kerr the model mother wows in white bikini on family vacation in Bora Bora

Now, fortunately for the thousands-to-millions of admirers who are enamored of Miranda's miraculous looks, she has deigned to provide us with numerous views of those looks, from the runway of VS lingerie shows while wearing wings, to the VS catalogs, to the VS commercials -- and she has modeled other clothing lines as well. And she has not been shy to display the entirety of what she has been granted, unlike other celebrities and models who keep minor portions of their anatomy in hiding.   But Miranda has posed wonderfully nude, on set, in bed, even gorgeously, glowingly pregnant.   And because this is the era of the Internet, it isn't difficult at all to find and enjoy and marvel at the beauteous package of completeness that is Ms. Kerr. (Plus, in her interviews, she comes across as nice and sweet and somewhat unaffected by the celebrity she enjoys due to her loveliness).

So we've seen her just about every way we could see her, and in many many many examples, sexy and provocative and seductive and attractive and desirable.

Nonetheless, in all this world of admiration, I think there's one picture that is Miranda at her most sexually alluring, i.e., sexiest.   It was shot by photog Chris Colls, who has apparently done many pictures of Miranda over the years.   Without any further delay, here it is.

So why is this picture above all, in my estimation, Miranda's sexiest? Here's some reasons why.

It's simple. No major set construction, makeup, "preparation", appears involved.
It's natural. Just her body, face, and sheets.
It's in color. She takes great sexy pictures in black-and-white, but color is the color of nudity and skin.
It doesn't appear posed. Miranda could wake up in the morning and look like this in bed. We can only wish to see that in person and in real-time.
It includes a naked breast. Miranda isn't shy about nipples. And hers are very nice. Both her nipples and her breasts.
Even though she doesn't necessarily have to be, she appears to be totally nude. Totally nude is nice. Totally nude is sexy. Totally nude is how men usually like their women to be when they have sex with them.
It's on a bed. People frequently have sex in beds.
She also looks inviting. In the sense of "Come to bed with me now", or "that was really great, lover".
Her legs are in an open position. One can imagine the delights that lie between those slender thighs.

Well, that's about enough. But in a service to mankind, I've collected all of the other pictures that appear to be publically available from this photoshoot. So we can imagine either a) Miranda getting undressed to be in the state of her prime picture, or b) Miranda getting dressed after a lovely physical romp.'

And let me be frank here -- I know that Orlando Bloom is the only male that has the legal and familial rights to a romp like that. But the rest of us can enjoy the fantasies that these pictures inspire, can't we? And we can thank the innateness of our human desires that a woman as lovely and desirable (and sweet and nice) as Miranda Kerr exists on this earth in our time of awareness.