Sunday, March 17, 2013
So quit your job
Ryan Seacrest makes (or has made) millions of dollars. Obviously he's a busy guy between American Top 40, American Idol, red carpet interviews, and lots of other stuff that I don't have time to look up.
But now, after three years of dating a woman that I would argue is currently in the Top 10 of Pure Most Desirable (Julianne Hough), they are taking a break -- can't tell if it's permanent yet -- from their relationship. It is, of course, a relationship in which it appears that he scored the entrance pass to her most sacred portal (based on what I wrote about). Can't be sure about that, but one drawback to giving it up to an Alpha Male is that the Alpha Male expects to mate with all of the females in his harem. Which in human terms amounts to serial monogamy. Ryan is moving on (but as I said with Leonard DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli, moving on to a higher level is not easy, even the Leo made a strong attempt with both Madalina Ghenea and Erin Heatherton).
OK, Ryan, opportunities like this don't come along every day. Sure, you've had your fun - but can you seriously top this? If I was you, I'd quit your day jobs. Why do you have to work? Wrap things up, take a long break, and enjoy the profits. Seriously.
(There was the minor incident of the $100,000 of jewelry he gave her getting stolen from her apparently unlocked car. Maybe he was miffed. But hey, this is Julianne Hough we're talking about).
So now Julianne might be available. After a suitably respectful waiting period (three days is likely enough), what suitor will be texting her telly for a dinner date? Remember that she's a Mormon by upbringing, but perhaps not exactly following all the tenets of female Mormonhood -- which is of course good since that is a very misognystic religion.
I sure know one thing -- if I was in the right category (meaning having the basic requirements of wealthy, good-looking, available, and in a sufficiently high social stratum), I'd call her as soon as the signing period started.
It's over! Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest 'call time on their three-year relationship'
at 2:03 PM