Monday, October 14, 2013

Republicans want to secede? This would solve ALL our problems

A short time ago I read a Washington Post article about the western part of Maryland wanting to secede from the rest of the state and become a new state because western Maryland is predominantly Republican and conservative, and the rest of the state is predominantly Democratic and godlessly liberal, thank God.  (The article got picked up by the HuffingtonPost via Reuters - read it here).   Apparently this is somewhat of a trend around the country, at least in certain places.  Pat Buchanan wrote about it recently on TownHall, too, quoted below:

"Like the western Maryland and northern Colorado counties, the northern California counties are conservative, small town, rural, and have little in common with San Francisco or Los Angeles, or Sacramento, where Republicans hold not one statewide office and are outnumbered better than 2-1 in both houses of the state legislature.
Folks on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, bordered by Wisconsin and the Great Lakes, which is connected to lower Michigan by a bridge, have long dreamed of a separate state called Superior. The UP has little in common with Lansing and nothing with Detroit."

There is only considered a small likelihood that any of these initiatives would succeed in seceding (ha ha ha). But there is apparently discontent around the country where conservatives are living in predominantly liberal Democratic states.  The other situation is less noticeable, because the liberal Dems in predominantly Republican states already tend to cluster in single-party enclaves that are also known as cities.

But there is a simple solution to all of this.  Let the discontent Republican conservatives have their own state, and let the government facilitate their movement to that state.  That would reduce the problem of gerrymandering in a lot of states - because there would be a lot fewer Republicans to gerrymander around - and also give the Republicans a state to run they way they like, living with like-minded people who also want to live in a state run the way they like.

But where to move them all to?  Where?  Where indeed?

I nominate Brownbackistan, formerly known as Kansas.  Governor Sam Brownback is already endeavouring to make Kansas the great Prairie Conservative Paradise.  There's lots and lots of room, plenty of small rural communities that could be a little bigger, the small towns and small town values that conservatives pine and opine for.   Kansas is famous for pushing creationism and prayer in schools, banning books, farming corn and wheat, cutting taxes, cutting taxes even more, cutting taxes so much that even Republicans are complaining, cutting godless art programs, godless educational programs, banning abortions,  limiting contraception, and building more churches.  (I'm not sure about that last part, but if more Christian right-wing conservatives move to Kansas, then it ought to be).  Furthermore, many of these discontenteds are already living in small, poor, rural communities - if they move to the same type of locale in Kansas, they'll feel right at home.

Here's Brownback's Road Map for Kansas (a PDF document).

Here's a partial assessment of how it's actually working thus far.   Doesn't appear to be working so good, so clearly they need more people to increase the tax base.  Oh wait, he eliminated the state income tax.  Never mind.  (Here's another commentary on how it's working, or not.)

I think it's fairly obvious that Brownback needs a lot more like-minded Kansans to live in Kansas, and apparently there are lot of people around the country not happy to be living where they are living now, because of the political bent of their own particular state.  So I propose that the Federal government provide low cost loans to allow anyone who wants to, for reasons of personal or political conscience, to move to Kansas. This helps the rest of the country, the states where these people don't like to be living, and Kansas, which is needing some help.

Hell, if they still want to secede, let them be their own country.  They're completely surrounded by the rest of the United States and they clearly can't have their own Navy.

I think this is an ideal situation for just about EVERYBODY.  When this whole shutdown and debt ceiling situation is done with, I'm going to call my Congresspeople and suggest it.  They're Democrats - they ought LIKE it.

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